The Best Time of the Year

As cliche as it may be, Christmas is definitely my favorite holiday … No, not so much Christmas, but everything that leads up to it. The holiday season brings me such joy. The scents of pine, vanilla, apple and cinnamon that seem to fill very room; my mother making her infamous fruit cakes,- nothing beats that first bite with a hot cup of coffee- the decorations ,Pentatonix Christmas music and all the fun Christmas movies to enjoy with family.

I’ve heard it said many times before; that the best part of Christmas is watching your children enjoy it and seriously it is the best feeling in the world. The light in their eyes, the smiles on their faces and the laughter that pours out of them is pure joy. The anticipation of Christmas is always so fun. This year we did things a little differently as mama is a nurse and hospitals do not close for the holidays. It was my holiday to work this year. I was stressed for months. How are we going to celebrate as we always have if I am not there. the kinks eventually got worked out and it was easier than I expected since they are all too young to know when “ Santa” actually comes, but I still enjoyed every moment.

Our church’s Christmas Eve service was everything. I love our church. They work so hard to go above and beyond and they always deliver. A live nativity was held with real LIVE animals, a smores station cradled nearby the hot cocoa station and all the hearts on fire for the season started our week perfectly.

We managed to fit in ALL the christmas fun; the gingerbread house, the cookies, tree decorating, movie watching and story telling. As parents, we try so hard to make every occasion perfect and oftentimes it is in that very “perfection” that we miss it. We miss the smiles and laughter because we are trying to not make big messes or we don’t want the sticky hands on everything; we obsess over trying to tidy up because company is coming or we are busy trying to post the “ perfect picture “ for social media. If you ask me for holiday pictures this year, I will tell you that I do not have any. I have pictures of them with Santa and a family picture we took at church and that is it. I chose to live in the moment this year. I chose to help them open gifts and jump right into playing alongside rather than worry about capturing a picture of them opening gifts. I chose to snuggle in our PJs and watch movies while my phone lay across the room. I chose conversations and laughs; I chose making memories a little differently this year since I knew I would be a little more absent than I would like due to work, but I lived in every smile, every sticky mess and blissfully lived in every snuggle and that it what I live for.

I was tired, but my heart was full. I did not sleep much, but i have no regrets. My littles loved every moment and as always… anything for those smiles, Cheers to the holidays and Merry Christmas!

Always,

MAK

I See You

Little one with brown eyes, we met today.

Little one with the brown eyes, I know the world seems so scary now. There are so many faces you’ve never met and the lights are just too bright. People are shouting things you do not understand. “What does that mean?” and” Who are they? “"There is loud beeping, noisy machines and there is something in my mouth helping me breathe. Mama told me to be wary of strangers so trusting you is hard, I hear you when you talk to me… “We mean you no harm. “We are only here to help” .There is so much commotion surrounding me and all I want is mom and dad.

Little one, your mom and dad love you more than life itself. They are in another room waiting. They are waiting for news. Will you be ok? Will you come home today? What is happening? They are scared too, but know how much they love you.; know how strong they are for you in the midst of chaos. Their prayers fill the hallway; their faith lifted high. They are waiting on a miracle. They are waiting for you.

Meanwhile, in your room, the world is very busy. All kinds of people are here for you. They are working together to save you. There are hands compressing your little heart, there are medicines being given to keep you with us; there are those watching your vital signs ever so keenly as to not miss a single beat. We are fighting hard alongside you, but even though our efforts are strong, your little body is just too sick.

“Mom and dad are here now, tears run down their faces, and mama’s hand is holding mine tight. Dad is strong, he holds me and mom. They kiss my face and hold me close. My breathing is different now, but i’m not scared anymore. I feel happy; I feel peace. As I leave the world I once knew as home, I tell mom and dad how I love them. I will see them both very soon. “

Little one with the brown eyes, we met today.

In the midst of the commotion, my eyes landed on yours and I saw you. You had perfectly round brown eyes; beautiful. I Imagined your life away from here. I invisioned you as the child you were. You were full of life, you loved to laugh and play. You loved your mom and dad and they gave you the world. You were more than your diagnosis and your body fought so hard to stay. I admire your strength little one and I thank you. Thank you for allowing us to fight with you. I thank you for the light you were in this world. Thank you for reminding me to appreciate every moment and hug those I love tight. Life is precious; Always I’ll remember your life and those perfect brown eyes.

I'm a PARENT parent

Atlanta, GA Prek Chronicles

My 1st baby started Pre-k this past month and if the fact that I haven’t blogged in a month doesn’t attest to how busy I have been since, I don’t know what will.

The week leading up to her 1st day I was an emotional mess - internally of course because I’m supermama right-but man I was in all sorts of tears. I was honestly in a turmoil. My child has always been under my protection or that of her father’s and unless she was getting dropped off to children’s church or her Lela’s house, she is always with me. I constantly have nurturing arms and love around her; always pouring into her and teaching her and though I may not always be patient and get overwhelmed; I am there and she is with me.

It would be the first time I would have to trust someone else to keep her safe, to teach her and for the time she is in school… to pour into her. As a parent in the current world we live in, that is TERRIFYING. Will they love her like I do? Pray over her like I do? Teach her patiently and give encouragement ? Will She even enjoy school and what do I do if she doesn’t?

It’s September now and I can happily report that all is well. She LOVES school. She is always excited to go and tell me how her day was after. She smiles walking in and walking out. The feeling of relief I have is immense. I am so thankful that I have been able to send her to a Christian School. It was extremely important to me that she not only hear about Jesus at home, but at school as well. i want her surrounded by the word and His name.

Currently we are working out the kinks of carlines and of me flip flopping between night shifts on my work days and 0600 mornings when I am home . Though I am tired, I enjoy every second. The early mornings bring forth an early start for me to have my quiet time and enjoy my coffee. I knock out my workouts and house work and by noon most of my to-do is done. I am so thankful. I’m thankful for our worship sessions on the way to school and the rosey cheeked smile that rides in the back seat.

But.. let me say that there is something about sitting in a school car line and doing parent-teacher things that makes you feel like a WHOLE real parent. It’s different when you are home with your littles, but when they suddenly gain a schedule of their own, you feel like a PARENT parent. Here I am 27, 3 whole kids, the busiest of schedules, big dreams and endless list of things to do and yet so very blessed. The best is yet to come and I look forward to it all.

Always,

- MAK

First Day Picture! All smiles !!