The Sun and the Moon

I once read a story of how the sun loved the moon. He loved her so much that he died every night to let her breathe.

The sun shone brightly during the day; illuminating the earth with all his radiance. He was slightly arrogant and boastful as people looked forward to seeing him rise each morning, His light alone illuminated the earth and rid it of darkness.

The moon was often overlooked as she appeared at the end of each day. Her glow not as bright as the sun and only made brighter by the accompaniment of stars.

Marvel and awe followed the sun, but the moon was downcast and unappreciated. Her beauty misunderstood and buried in darkness.

The moon, although alone, was not lonely. She thrived in darkness and it brought her comfort. The stillness of the night bought a calmness to her, but she longed for something more. She longed for someone to see her; to hear her when she is quiet, to meet her in the darkness; to ignite fire in the coolness of the night.

The Sun was the forbidden love she did not know existed. They saw each other in passing every morning and every night, but his arrogance perturbed her and her dark aura kept him at bay.

It was a spring night when it happened. The moon began to align herself between the Sun and the Earth. An inconvenience to both of their days if you had asked either of them, but alas it was that time of year and they had to keep up appearances.

It was on this day that He saw her and would never forget the way in which she presented herself before him. She glowed with elegance and grace. She effortlessly cut through the darkness. He shamelessly marveled and adored her. As she made her appearance before him, she took notice of his majesty. He stood in confidence, enthroned by his light.
Everyday that followed the eclipse, was an opportunity to see him. They never spoke, but exchanged longing stares and stolen glances. The tension of their love growing stronger with each dawn and dusk.
The once arrogant sun was humbled by her love for him and no longer wished to be admired for his light. He longed to be in her darkness; to dim his light so she could glow
It is said that the sun used to shine brighter and his warmth transcended the hours of daylight . Summer days were shorter and winter days longer. The sun gave the moon more of his time so she could shine. Each day he died to himself , to his light so She could breathe longer.
The story of the Sun and the Moon

-MAK

Land of the Free? Home of the Brave?

Trauma.

Trauma affects our body physically and emotionally, Trauma is an EMERGENCY. When the body experiences physical trauma you call for help; 911 !! EMS rushes in, they assess the emergency, they place IVs, they begin resuscitative measures until you reach more trained help. People act fast and no time is wasted .Adrenaline is pumping through these people’s veins! A LIFE IS AT STAKE. You can picture that image right? It is tangible. It is real and it happens everyday which is why there are trained professionals for these instances.

Now let's look at emotional trauma. One minute, ,everything is fine and right in the world. The next, you receive a phone call that changes your life. Your mind, your spirit is in a state of emergency. Your heart rate is up, you are sweating, crying, screaming. There is a traumatic emergency going on in your head, though no one is actually hurt or bleeding physically. You look around and there is no one to call, there is no 911 for emotional trauma. The pain is very real and the very breath is escaping your lungs, but no one is coming in a hurry to save you. You are on the floor bleeding out and no one can see it. if you were to call 911 with a “ mental emergency ,” you would have very angry EMS workers for wasting their time and resources. You can’t go to the emergency room for that.

No one else sees or feels the pain, but it is very real and tangible for you. You fall into anxiety and depression and simply getting out of bed is difficult, yet you are still required to go on about your day because there are people who depend on you. Scary right?

Now let’s take a group of people and lets throw trauma at them everyday for centuries. Murders, senseless killings, hangings, threats to them and their families, let’s throw them in jail for no good reason at all, let’s give them the worst of everything, make it hard for them to feed their families , make it hard to get good employment and even more difficult to progress to the top.Let us pay them less or give them side eyes, let us raise our children to hate them. let’s shun a whole race of people simply because they are black.

This is America.

The very America, my own parents fought so hard to get to because they wanted to give their daughters a better life. The American Dream! The truth is the American Dream everyone desires is built so that it only comes easy to people who fit the description of white America…

I am emotional, I am angry, I am hurt. The very fact that people are being murdered for the color of their skin and people actually have the audacity to justify it, is disgusting. It is horrific. It is disturbing. The truth is people do not care what happens to others until it happens to them. This cannot be so. Fathers, brothers, husbands, sons are being killed and we have just been sitting, twiddling our thumbs and brushing it off as loss. While a whole race of people has been suffering. NOT OK.

It brings me to tears to see people on the streets protesting for black lives, yet it saddens me that it has taken us this long to do so.

This is an EMERGENCY. We cannot sit idle anymore. People are DYING! Trauma is happening! Send Help!

No, I do not know not what it is like to grow up black, but my children will know. I fear for my sons. They may be tender and cute now, but what about when they are older and fit someones “ description.” What about when hate is against them. Will someone assault my children based on their appearance as well? This mama will not sit back and watch. Black lives deserve better, my sons deserve a more promising future. America has to do better, be better, but it starts at home, We must teach our children love and equality.

My children will know it all. They will know the struggles of being black in America and they will also know the struggles of being Latino in America . Minorities deserve better. America is a melting pot of people. It’s time we started treating it that way.

Always ,

-MAK

The Other Side

I am used to being the caretaker, the nurturer, the strength amidst the storms for families; for my patients. I see how they fight, I see them at their weakest, I see them as they face their worst fears. I have become accustomed to the organized chaos of my title as RN. It is a part of me and i don’t know that I could live without it at this point in life.

What I am not used to, however, is being on the other side. The other side being that I am the mama with a child as a patient. My daughter had to have a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, and Myringotomy tubes AKA she had to have her tonsils and adenoids out and get tubes placed in her ears. Yes, these are outpatient procedures and they are done so often that they are considered easy and simple. Please remember, this mama is a PICU RN and I see worst case scenario of EVERYTHING. So what was my brain doing for weeks leading up to the surgery?..imagining every worst case possible. I exhausted myself. I cried more than I am comfortable saying and if I’m honest, I was just scared. The unknown is scary. Fear has a way of easing into our spirits bit by bit until we are consumed by it.

I met the surgeon. I asked all my thousand questions and though I felt more at ease with information, the reality is things can always go wrong and that is where I was allowing fear to set it.

To my mamas that I meet each and every day as I care for your precious babies, I understand you better now. I feel more connected to you and even though my daughter’s outpatient procedure may be nothing in comparison to the monumental obstacles you and your children have to face, it gave me a glimpse of what you all have to go through. It was still surgery; she still had to be put under and intubated. Fear of the unknown and hope for the best was alive in me.

I found some peace in letting go and letting God, butI had to check my thoughts every day until the procedure date to be strong for m little; to be ready to greet her when she woke up. Kudos to the mamas going through this on a regular basis. My heart is with you.

Side note. Surgery went very well, he adenoids were HUGE, she can breathe now and is happy and back to bossing her brothers around.

-MAK