The City’s Gonna Break my Heart

The city’s gonna break my heart

The City loves to draw me in. On the days my light is dim, the city shines brighter inviting to come into her light . I’m entranced by it; I can’t say no. She’s dazzling . The city is my escape; escape from the daily stressors; from the laundry list of to dos I cannot seem to get away from . The escape from the dimness that threatens to take me.

The city rescues my smile when it’s being threatened away. When anxious thoughts become too much, the city offers stability, comfort , a constant grounding to my ever racing thoughts

.. but the city’s gonna beak my heart just as well

She is fun. she is carefree. She takes the best parts of me and she is the lingering sting of empty promises. She’s a temptress and she’s damn good at it. I fall for her every time. She’s a weakness and she knows it very well.

I beg the city to treat me well.

City I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve for you. I’ve come to you in my worst moments and your promises to be what I needed you to be kept me afloat.

She brings me in and I tug away. I’m hesitant now. The flashing lights that once left me in awe no longer seem as bright. The city does not belong to me. I liked to pretend that she did, but the fool was I. The flashy lights and attractions only keep your attention for so long; there is no depth there; none below the surface of appearances and illusions of connections

…but man was it fun. I still find myself longing for those the carefree nights under the moonlight, the city illuminating the sky, a glass of red in my hand toasting to the moon; the scent heavy on my lips.

I whispered my secrets to her and she kept them safe for me. A vault to my troubles; a tomb to the words I’ve kept unsaid.

… another toast to the moon, a smile to the city . A tear shed for the good times we’ll never have.

The city’s gonna break my heart.

Wine turns to bourbon. Bourbon turns our easy nights restless. The tension begins to build. I made a deal with the devil when I met her. I was searching for a high and bargained for more than I could handle. I lost myself in her , attaching my vulnerabilities to moments that made me feel elated. The moments I thought made me feel whole.

Where do we go from here ? Everything is different. The lights sparkles except more dimly now. I put too much pressure on her to be all that I wanted; all that I needed. I can’t put all the blame on her. We both fell into a tangle of chemistry that was so tangible you could almost taste it. We couldn’t haven’t stayed away if we tried.

Another toast as I pour out some bourbon. A toast to the laughs, the tears , bottles opened, and the bottles left to be opened .

The City will always be there in all her grandeur; but my deal with the devil is ending and even though it is what is it best , my heart aches as I turn and look the other way.

The City is gonna break my heart.